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I am what I like to call chronically single. I got my heart shattered into a million tiny pieces a loooong time ago and I have been single pretty much since then. I have gone on plenty of dates, tried online dating, blind dates, done the awkward friend setup, etc. and I just haven’t met my “person” yet and that’s ok because I am 100% loving where I am in life right now. I am not one of those people who has to have a boyfriend (clearly) to validate my existence and I don’t think I am any less of a person for not having a significant other. In fact, dare I say, I like being single?
I know, I know. Even in 2017 it seems almost taboo to say that I enjoy being single. Like something should be wrong with me because I actually enjoy coming home to my sweet Sophie pup and an otherwise empty home. I like being alone and doing things by myself. I absolutely love going to a solo movie and I have gotten used to the awkward stares from others when I eat out alone. I go to a lot of musicals alone and have gone on several solo vacations and I LOVE IT.
However being single for so long has made me realize that there are a few occasions where being single isn’t fun…weddings, funerals and holidays. Weddings because of the obvious. Trust me when I say that if I don’t have to do anther bouquet toss for the rest of my life I would be perfectly ok with that, I think that when you hit a certain age (over 30) it should be optional, not mandatory. Funerals are just something I don’t like doing solo, it’s nice to have someone to lean on and leave early with (because leaving early is kind of my thing at funerals, too many memories).
And holidays, oh holidays. I love the holidays, most of the time. I love seeing my family multiple times a month and I love celebrating with my friends. I love shopping and picking out just the right gift. I love sending and receiving Christmas cards. I love watching my nieces and nephews open presents. I love the closeness and just the overall feels of the season.
One thing I don’t like? Going solo to holiday parties. I don’t mind going solo to parties in general but it’s like there is a special awkwardness about attending a holiday party solo. WHY must there always be mistletoe and WHY must I always get shoved under it while holding a dog or with a random stranger? That pretty much sucks, therefore I usually just don’t go. Saves me from all of the “poor pitiful you” stares and I get to lounge in my pj’s with Sophie pup drinking fancy coffee and watching Christmas movies on Hallmark. I call that a Win/Win situation.
I get that most people reading this post won’t understand where I’m coming from. I’m sure most of the people who read this blog, like most of my friends, are happily married and have families of your own and if that makes you happy then good! It should because that’s the life you chose for yourself and I wish you all the happiness in the world. But just because my situation is different than yours doesn’t give you the right to feel sorry for me or look down on me because you think I don’t have my life figured out because I’m not married and I don’t have kids. I choose to be single and happy just like you choose to be married and happy.
Now if the right man does come along one day then great! And if he doesn’t then that’s ok too. I am happy right here and right now and that’s all that matters. Happiness matters during the holidays and during every single day of your life so if you aren’t happy then do something to change that! Life is short and shouldn’t be filled with anything other than your happiness, whether you are single or married or however you choose to live your life.
And that, my friends, are my thoughts on being single during the holidays…and all year round. You do you. Just be happy.
You are one smart lady! I love that you don’t need a man to complete you! I wish all single women thought like this. If the right man comes along, great. If he doesn’t, great.
Sounds like you have your life in order and you are very happy. Having a man in our life doesn’t mean everything is perfect or complete. If and when it happens wonderful but just enjoy living your life.
I hate going to holiday parties period, even with my husband. I’d rather be at home watching cheesy movies! I tend to decline invites. I’m a total introvert.
I’m sure you’ll find someone, but it’s great that you’re fine being alone!
I’m glad that you can be alone with yourself and not need someone else. I do understand that it can be lonely sometimes and the holidays are definitely one of the harder times for that.
I am one of those that are happily married, with a family, BUT, I am in introvert, and I like my me time. alone. I think that I’d pretty much be right where are you in life, if I wasn’t married. I never really thought about the holiday parties alone, because the introvert that I am always finds me trying to avoid those!
There is beauty in being single as well as a peace of mind. Around this time of the year, it can be hard for some single people but if you have a mindset like you mentioned above, you’ll be just fine.
Nope, you don’t need a man to be complete. I wish more people would learn to be comfortable with themselves and they’d understand this.
It sounds like you have a great life, and love that you do not need a man to have a fulfilled life. I have known way too many people that stay in unhealthy relationships for the fear of not having someone. I am sure there is it’s own challenges, like dealing with parties during the holidays but getting to enjoy life however and whoever is by your side is the best way to do it!
I can see why some women might find it difficult to be single during the holidays. I am glad that you have such a great attitude! All women should feel confident without a man!
If Mr. Right comes along that’s great but right now you are single and enjoying your life. You go girly! Why let your marital status determine your happiness. Enjoy your holidays Ricci!
I remember how it was so rough to be single during the holidays. But to be honest, sometimes I wish I didn’t have so many responsibilities with my in laws during the holidays and could simply do what I want to do. Selfish, but oh well!
I love your positive attitude. I have a lot of single friends and I always try to include them when we do things but never make them feel like a 3rd or 4th wheel. It’s ok to be happy being single and if there’s times when you need a date for certain events, I would find a “friend” to help you out. The holidays at my house are filled with singles so come on by ANY TIME!!!
I don’t like going to holiday parties. Especially those big corporate parties where you have to be dressed to the nines. How uncomfortable! The only corporate holiday party I attended was because I was an awardee and because the raffle prizes were awesome. (I came home empty handed though. Ugh.) The only parties I attend now are family hosted. Just me, my family and I. Like you, I’d rather stay home, in my pajamas, sipping cold beer, and watching a chic flick (even if my husband keeps rolling his eyes and groaning. Haha).
I’ve been single for the holidays a few times in my life. It’s really honestly, not any fun. It makes you feel like the odd one out.
I am single for the holidays this year. It’s just me and the kids and I’m ok with it, honestly.
What a great way to stay positive. Glad to hear that you’re happy and content. Hope the right man comes along.
Yes to all of this! Go girl! I’m with you hun and loving every minute of it. I’m sure each of our “persons” will come at the right time. Happy Holidays.
What a lovely message, hun! This is really nice!
As someone who has never really been single I have to say I’m slightly jealous of those who are at times. I LOVE alone time and I don’t get much of that. Enjoy your Christmas and keep being fabulous :)
You have accepted where you are in life and that is great. My mom is chronically single and has been for a very long time. There are days she says it’s just too quiet and I can’t imagine. Hugs and keep your head up!